I don’t understand

How did you hurt me so much? I don't understand. When were you so cruel and heartless? You meant everything to me. I admired you, I looked up to you, I loved you. When were you so perverse?

I held you in such high regard, I adored you, I longed for you, and you? I was nothing to you. You discarded me like I was no one. I never meant the same as you did to me, and I don't understand. I offered you everything without expecting anything in return. I cared for you, I worried, I sacrificed for you, and you, where were you?

Always busy, always doing something, your life never stopped, and you offered me scraps of time, scraps of intimacy, scraps of attention. You told me to accompany you while you folded clothes, and I felt it was cute, but now I realize it wasn't out of tenderness; it was because you were always busy and I didn't fit into your life.

I had the good fortune and misfortune of taking a trip with you. I had such a good time, I got to know you a little better, I fell in love a little more, I adored you a little more, and you taught me that it never mattered. You never did anything for me, never a small sacrifice for me, or that's what it seemed like because you never communicated with me.

I never knew your feelings, your thoughts, your ambitions because you never said anything. You kept everything to yourself, and I don't understand. It was so difficult for you to express yourself that you left me completely confused. I didn't understand you, and I tried so hard to decipher you, to understand you, to please you, but what about you? I never knew anything about you... anything...

I thank you for teaching me that this world has people like you who disguise themselves. I don't understand who you really are. I don't think I ever got to know you. You feel like a complete stranger, and that nullifies all the time we were together.

You hurt me, you hurt me to the depths of my soul, you broke my heart and shatter me into pieces, and guess who has to pick that up and mend it? It was so easy for you to break me into a thousand pieces that my self-esteem is at stake. You weakened me, you abandoned me, and you forgot about me.

Thank you for teaching me so much...