You are my hell

You hurt me a lot, rat. You've left me wandering the world with a broken heart. I can't stop thinking about the times we used to go boating on the lake or those times we used to talk on the dock while watching the sunset.

I can't take it anymore. You suffocate me, you throw me away, you throw me to the ground like I'm nothing. You hurt me, and there's not much I can do. I wish I could let you go, but you've become so deeply rooted in my being that ripping you out would shatter me into a thousand little pieces, and rebuilding would be impossible. I have to be patient and let you go on your own, when you say so, not when I think it's time.

I wish I could take you out of my heart, mind, and soul, but for some reason you're so tight that I don't have the strength to push you out and live in peace. Why is this world like this? So unfair, so heavy, so evil. I feel like I'm living in hell and there's no redemption. I don't know what else to do, you're a diva and you know it and you know how to crush me hard and wound me to death.

You're a stupid bird that flies without caring about anything, as if you were more important than everyone, always perfect and impeccable. I hate you and I never want to see you again in my life. You've gone from ruling my heart to creating a tyranny in my being. You have me hanging against my will, and it seems you get pleasure from torturing me and leaving me wounded whenever you please.

You're a viper that bites me every time you feel bored just to see me broken.

Is it because I smoke marijuana? Or is it because I'm not pretty enough for you? You did such a terrible job ending the relationship that to this day I don't know why you left me. It hurts so much to have no closure, no reason, no motive for leaving me, just a weak, three-hour conversation where you babbled meaningless reasons and silly words that have no direction or purpose.

Get out of here now. You're not welcome anymore, and you never will be. You've lost this person in the worst possible way, and there's nothing you can do.